apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Is it because I queefed?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
