I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
how does that bad decision feel?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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