What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
The ass gains better be worth it
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
