i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
