At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
