Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
