Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
