AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Can you bring me the toilet please
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
