gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I am mentally ready for anal.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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