You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
