when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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