How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
