This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
