So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Randomize
