we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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