You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
