I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
