my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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