i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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