I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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