she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
