walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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