The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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