Dual....:-)
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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