I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i barfeds in our rink
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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