How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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