Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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