i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
