pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
