were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
