piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
