Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
