I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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