ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
