If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
