you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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