he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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