When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
