Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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