What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I wish you could order shots online.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i think i scared a bird with my dick
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
My ass is underappreciated
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
