so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
