stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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