lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
