Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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