He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
