You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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