i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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