dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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