So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
