Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
