You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
