I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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